where do we begin
by flowermasters
Summary: Naturally, the baby chooses the worst possible time to arrive. AU where Kylo is a girl.


A/N: I did promise some of you ginger children, didn't I.

Warnings for: cisgirl Kylo, established Kylo/Hux, childbirth and related baby things.

This is part of an AU that I, for some reason, can't shut up about, and is going to make, like, NO sense if you aren't familiar with what's happened. The title of this comes from "Pompeii" by Bastille.

I'm gonna have to come back to pregnant!Kylo simply because think how grumpy and cute she'd be, in all her glorious emoness.

* * *

Hux isn't sure how much more of this he can stand, and he's not even the one actually _suffering_. At least, not in the traditional sense of that word.

"Kylo," he says, leaning over her to get a better look at her face. She's got her back to him, lying curled on her side. If it were physically possible for her to be in the fetal position, Hux is fairly sure she would've assumed it quite some time ago. "I'm going to the village."

"No," she grits out, without even opening her eyes.

"I _have_ to," Hux says exasperatedly. They've been having this argument on-and-off ever since Kylo had accidentally kicked him awake several hours before dawn, grimacing in discomfort and clutching at her stomach. It's nearly dusk, and if Hux doesn't leave very soon, he'll likely get lost on his way. Of course, that's still a distinct possibility, given that it's been snowing ferociously since midday. This planet seems to have only two real seasons – winter and spring – and of _course_ the baby has decided to come along during a blizzard. "You know, I've been trained in combat first-aid, but I am hilariously unqualified to deliver a baby."

"You'll freeze to death," Kylo growls.

"I'll take the speeder!"

"You'll get lost, and then freeze to death. Shut _up_ , Hux."

Hux contemplates just getting up and leaving without her permission – not that he requires it anyway, given how illogical she's being – but when he'd tried that earlier, the doors had all rattled threateningly and refused to open until he'd returned to Kylo's side. She seems loath to let him leave, which is rather ridiculous given that the child is going to need to be delivered at some point, and Hux knows there has to be a doctor or a midwife or _something_ in the bloody village. Hell, Hux would probably be able to get half the townspeople to come if he asked; the last time he'd ventured out (alone, as Kylo had grown increasingly frustrated with her own lack of maneuverability), he'd been plied with more free food and secondhand baby clothes than he could possibly carry. The people of this region see so few true strangers that Hux and Kylo are somewhat exotic – Hux's accent, utterly foreign in this place, along with Kylo's rather formidable facial scar, seem to have lent them an air of mystery.

Before Hux can argue any further, Kylo tenses, her brow furrowing. She breathes out slowly through her nose, seemingly calm, but Hux can see where her hands are clenching the sheets tightly enough that the fabric is in danger of ripping. Unsure of what else to do, Hux rubs her back, and gradually Kylo relaxes, fists unclenching.

Hux gets up from the pallet after a moment, and when Kylo hisses wordlessly at him, he says, "Easy, I'm only going to fetch a glass of water."

He's been plying her with fluids every so often, unable to coax her to eat or drink anything more fortifying than water. Kylo's been sweating mildly all day, the edges of her hair damp with it, so Hux hopes the water's helping. When he walks to the sink he barely glances out the kitchen window, but something – instinct, perhaps – makes him do a double-take. There's a shape approaching the house, only faintly visible through the whiteness of the snow. A ship.

"Kylo," Hux calls warningly, but of course she can do very little in her current state. He has no idea why a ship that large would be approaching this little house out in the middle of nowhere – well, no idea that doesn't end with him being arrested as either a war criminal or a traitor, depending on whose ship it is. Kylo will likely be taken as well, assuming she's presently too distracted to slaughter anyone who comes close.

Hux takes a steadying breath, contemplating his next move. He still hasn't managed to get his hands on a blaster, though certainly not for lack of trying; there's no surplus of them in this territory, as very few people except the police seem to have them. There's a handful of slightly dull kitchen knives, but they'll do him very little good in the long run. He'd be better off simply surrendering and hoping he can bargain for medical care for Kylo.

With that thought in mind, Hux heads for the kitchen table – Kylo's heavy robe is slung over the back of a chair, discarded days ago. If he's going to be taken or killed, he might as well be warm. It's only when he shrugs the robe on – it's tight across the shoulders and several inches too short, but otherwise suitable – that he feels it, heavy in a pocket against his outer thigh. Her saber.

He's only ever touched it once before, when Kylo had been dragged from the crumbling surface of Starkiller base. She'd shoved it into Hux's hands as she'd been carried past, as if hoping he might keep it safe for her. Hux had held onto it then, but only because he hadn't been able to get her unsettling expression out of his mind – he'd never seen such twisted, bloody anguish.

This time when he tries the front door, it opens, though not with ease. The snow outside is shin-deep, and Hux has rather long legs. He takes one last glance back into the house – he can just barely see Kylo from this angle, still huddled on the bed – before he pulls her hood up over his head and steps out into the storm.

The ship lands a safe distance from the house, and Hux watches, shivering and squinting, as it powers down before the bay doors open. He pulls Kylo's lightsaber free of the pocket but does not ignite it, hoping for the element of surprise. Minutes pass before finally, fellow humans become visible – three of them, struggling towards him through the snow and wind. The one in front is short – when the person draw close, Hux notes that there's probably a full foot of difference in their heights.

"Put that away before you hurt someone, General," Leia Organa says, somehow perfectly audible even over the wind. "I'm not here for you. Not this time, at least."

Hux grits his teeth, feeling like a chastened schoolboy and hating it. "Then what are you doing here, _General_?" he asks, shouting to be heard. It feels childish, parroting her like that, but well – she's the only one of them who's still actually a general, anyway.

"I'm here for Beni," General Organa informs him, and she sidesteps Hux before he has a chance to respond. Her aides, a man and a woman, follow, although they give Hux a considerably wider berth than Organa had.

"Surely you don't mean –," Hux blurts, hurrying after them as best he can, but he stops himself before he can finish that sentence. He's never actually heard Kylo's birth name before – well, nothing beyond Solo, but he supposes that must be it. If Hux makes it through the night without being taken into custody, he'll hassle Kylo about the quaintness of it later. It's hardly relevant now, not when Organa is pushing her way into the little house that he and Kylo have occupied alone for nearly a year now. Hux feels strangely protective over it, even though it's actually not his house, legally speaking.

Organa sweeps into the kitchen, then halts when her gaze lands on Kylo, visible on the pallet in the next room. Kylo is still for a moment, then opens her eyes and lifts her head.

Her face crumples for a moment – only a moment. "Mom," she says, and General Organa is at her side in an instant. Hux averts his eyes, feeling as if he's spying on some side of Kylo that he has not been permitted to see. He turns his attention to the general's aides, who seem to be medical staff, but they're already making themselves at home in the kitchen, and don't seem inclined to meet his gaze.

When Hux finally turns to look at General Organa and Kylo again, he finds that the former is giving him a rather calculating look while the latter has returned to her trance. "It didn't occur to you to go for help?" Organa asks calmly.

Hux opens his mouth to protest, but Kylo's dark eyes shoot open suddenly and she snaps, "Leave him alone. If you two are going to bicker, I'll throw you both out, blizzard be damned."

Hux can't help but feel that's a rather empty threat, given her condition, but Kylo fixes him with a look that is so piercing he decides to take her at her word. He nods, and Kylo closes her eyes again, unable to hide her sudden grimace. Hux starts toward her, but at the last second he thinks better of it, feeling that perhaps Kylo might appreciate her mother's comfort more than his at the moment. _The water_ , he suddenly thinks, _I forgot it._

Hux moves to the kitchen as the nurses are heading for Kylo, and he hears them talking to her in tones that are clearly meant to be low and soothing. He should have warned them – she hates being spoken to like that, regardless of the circumstances. When Hux returns with a fresh cup of water, they've inveigled Kylo into lying on her back, although she doesn't look happy about it at all. In an attempt to stay out of the way, Hux sits Kylo's cup down next to the pallet and starts to back away, but she notices his attempt at escape and reaches for him suddenly, her eyes going slightly wide. "Hux," she says, and he stills.

"Come here," Kylo orders hoarsely, and he does, situating himself on the other side of Kylo, opposite her mother.

Kylo's still reaching for him, so Hux offers her his arm, and she squeezes it tightly enough that the thin bones of his wrist grind together rather uncomfortably. "You're shaking," Kylo observes, gritting it out through her teeth as one of the nurses – the woman – nudges her legs up and apart.

"It's rather cold," Hux manages tightly.

Kylo doesn't gentle her grip – not that he'd really expected her to. "The robe," she says, and she sounds slightly amused, under layers of exhaustion and pain. "You're covered in snow."

Hux honestly hadn't even remembered that he's still in Kylo's cloak, but she's right – he'll be dripping everywhere soon. Still, she doesn't seem inclined to let go of him, so the robe will have to stay. "Sorry," he says dryly. "You know, this ratty old thing really isn't as warm as it looks."

Kylo scoffs at him, but the sound turns into a strangled grunt, and her fingers dig so tightly into Hux's arm that he genuinely can't hide his wince. Still, he's hyperaware of General Organa's eyes on him, so he doesn't make a single noise of complaint. "Sorry," Kylo manages eventually, half aimed at him, half at her mother.

"It's fine," Hux says, perfectly in unison with General Organa. Kylo, the ridiculous thing, lets out a ragged laugh.

"I knew you two could get along," she says, and then she is squeezing his arm again, her brow furrowing with concentration and pain, and _oh_ , this is really happening now. Hux isn't sure where to look – can't bring himself to glance at General Organa or the nurses at work between Kylo's legs – so he just stares at the side of Kylo's face. Occasionally she glances over at him, her eyes meeting his, and in those moments Hux shouts inexpertly in his head at her, _you're nearly there, that's it, love –_

The baby comes squalling into the world not long after that, and for a long moment after her first cry Hux just kneels there, halfway on the pallet, stunned. His gaze follows the child as she is lifted from Kylo and then borne away by the male nurse. Kylo swats feebly in Hux's direction and says raggedly, "Go."

Hux rises on unsteady legs and stumbles after the nurse, watching in silence as he does various medical things to the baby that Hux doesn't have the presence of mind to interpret. The baby gives off the occasional indignant whimper, and Hux starts to tell the nurse to let her be, that he's upsetting her, and then suddenly the nurse is turning to Hux and handing her over, swaddled in cloth and so _small_.

She really is so little, almost frightfully delicate, and Hux can _tell_ he's panicking and yet he can't stop. She is the only truly innocent thing he thinks he's ever seen, and Hux is quite possibly the least innocent person in the universe, surely he'll ruin her just by holding her –

"Hux," a voice says, half in his head and half out, and he turns his head towards the sound instinctively. Kylo looks rather more settled now, her lower half covered by clean blankets. Hux can't tell if the whole affair had actually wrapped up that quickly or if he's just been standing here for some time, dumbfounded and staring at the child. The latter seems more likely, given Kylo's impatient expression.

"Let me see her," Kylo says, and Hux crosses the small room and carefully offers her the baby.

Kylo studies the child for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Then she says, half exasperated and half awed, "She has my nose."

Hux gives a delirious sort of laugh, and to his surprise, General Organa laughs, too – albeit much more sedately. While Hux watches, Organa leans over and kisses Kylo's cheek. Kylo stiffens, as if somewhat alarmed by the gesture, but she visibly relaxes when her mother draws back and pronounces, "She's beautiful."

General Organa rises to her feet then and sweeps gently away, heading for the kitchen. It takes Hux a second, but it dawns on him that she seems to be offering them privacy – well, as much privacy as can be found in a cottage this small. Kylo watches Leia go and then says, "Are you just going to stand there and stare? Sit."

Kylo grumbles at him until he settles exactly where she wants him – tucked against her side, his arm around her shoulders. It feels odd to be touching her this openly, with three strangers only a few feet away, but Hux lacks the energy to fight it. Kylo says then, "I think I'm supposed to feed her now."

Hux nearly shrugs, but doesn't for two reasons: one, so as not to jostle anybody, and two, because that gesture always annoys him when Kylo does it. "I suppose somebody will alert you if you're doing it terribly wrong."

Kylo rolls her eyes at him, then leans forward ever so slightly. Without needing to be told, Hux helps her squirm halfway out of her tunic. It takes some finagling, mostly on Kylo's part, but both she and the baby get the hang of it soon enough. Afterwards, the baby seems to be asleep, but every now and then she opens her eyes just a bit, as if worried she'll miss something.

"What's it like?" Hux asks after a moment, studying the baby. She has dark eyes, like Kylo, but the light fuzz of hair on her head is red – like him. "In her head, I mean."

"Simple," Kylo says. "She likes being near me."

"Imagine that," Hux mutters, unable to resist, and Kylo is tired enough to forgo a retort.

"She liked it when you held her, too," Kylo informs him, her tone uncommonly gentle. "It soothed her."

Hux doesn't meet Kylo's gaze, though he knows she will feel how irrationally pleased he is to hear that. "Well," he says finally. "I suppose there's no accounting for taste."

Kylo smiles a bit but doesn't reply, her gaze on the baby again. Hux supposes he's going to have to be the one to bring it up, so he decides to go for it now, while Kylo seems to be in a good mood. "We really ought to come up with a name now," he says. They've spent the better part of the past several months bickering about it, but this is getting a bit ludicrous. "We've missed our deadline, but better late than never."

"Padmé," Kylo says. "It was my mother's suggestion."

"Speaking of whom," Hux says, narrowing his eyes at Kylo slightly. "Did you know she was coming?" It all seems rather convenient, in the end – Kylo refusing to let him leave, only to have her mother show up with medics in the nick of time.

"Yes," Kylo replies, unabashed. "I sensed her presence. I think she knew that I would – need her."

"You didn't think it might be prudent to warn me?"

"No. I knew you would panic."

"I thought I was going to be _arrested_. Or possibly shot."

"She's still considering arresting you," Kylo says casually, wriggling slightly so that she can rest her head against Hux's shoulder. "She wouldn't shoot you, though – not unless you did something very stupid first."

"Oh, well, isn't that a relief," Hux says dryly. Kylo ignores him, her eyes drifting closed, and Hux softens slightly, against his will. "Padmé. It'll do, I suppose."

Kylo smiles tiredly and doesn't open her eyes – she merely tucks her face against the crook of Hux's neck, mumbling something incoherent and likely sarcastic. Within seconds her breathing has gone slow and deep, but she continues to cradle a similarly unconscious Padmé to her chest. Hux takes the opportunity to gently adjust Kylo's tunic and blankets, knowing she will wake cold, half-dressed, and irritable. When he looks up, he finds General Organa watching him from the kitchen, her face impassive.

Hux stiffens slightly, but doesn't break eye contact, refusing to back down. Next to him, Kylo shifts in her sleep but doesn't wake. General Organa looks at the three of them for a moment longer, then nods her head, ever so slightly.

It's not exactly a shining seal of approval, Hux notes as he settles back against the mountain of pillows on the pallet, but it'll do.


End file.
